*sigh*

Getting involved with animals is a sure way to have your heart broken. Two days ago, a baby bird died in my hands.
I saw her first on Monday afternoon. A baby pigeon sitting on the sidewalk while people were walking all over her, and only by miracle were they not stepping on her. I gently got her to walk over to a wall of a store, but she didn't stay there. I looked around on the store awnings to see if there was a nest somewhere, but didn't see or hear anything.
Leaving her there would mean a slow and agonizing death for her from trampling, starvation, cat attack...
I took her. Put her in a gift bag and brought her home. On the way I stopped at a store to buy baby formula. I had no idea what to feed her, but baby formula has total nutrition.
The boys chose her name. Appy. Short for Apple, which is short for Tree Leaf Apple Stairs.

We brought her home. She was awfully dirty, but before bath time I attempted to feed her. She didn't take in much.
I washed off so much dirt from her, wrapped her in a towel and held on to her to keep her warm. She drank formula from a dropper a couple of times more.


At night I put her to sleep in a large flowerpot, all wrapped up in old clothes.

I Googled for some pigeon information and came across a wonderful site of people dedicated to rescuing pigeons. Since NYC doesn't rescue pigeons, a few like minded people started a private group type of thing. I filled out their "pigeon in distress" form, and mere minutes later, I got a phone call! The lady said she has emailed three people in my area, and if I don't hear from them in a couple of hours I should call her back. Wow. I expected this to happen over days, not hours and minutes. Such dedicated people.

Soon a man called me and told me that they can take her off my hands, rehabilitate her, place her with other rescued pigeons (so she should get used to being among them) and eventually do a slow release.
A woman then explained to me exactly how to feed the bird- how to soften the dog biscuits and place them in the beak.

They told me they can get me a cage for the time being, and that I will have to keep her for 2-6 weeks until one of the people who rehabilitate pigeons has an opening. Right now they were all full. (They asked me if I was Jewish, and then told me that 90% of the people on their team, and of the people who contact them with a rescued pigeon, are Jewish.)

I prepared the dog food the way they told me and took Appy to feed her. She was weak and didn't want to keep her eyes open, so I tried to wake her. She needed to eat because her crop was totally empty. I got one biscuit down. She was showing no interest in swallowing, so I just held her, petting her to stimulate and arouse her. I tried a second biscuit, and she swallowed only half of it. I removed the other half from her beak. After a short break I tried one more. By then her legs were limp and she had trouble standing. I called the man I was in contact with to ask him what to do. He said it doesn't sound good and there is nothing to do now.

The baby bird died in my hands. It was so, so awful. I tried to lift her head, to get her to respond, but it soon became clear that she died.

I was crushed! I really didn't think this would happen. She was walking around in the morning, even climbing/flying out of the shopping cart where we kept her. I didn't even think she would die.
I was terrified that maybe the food blocked the airway, but the man I spoke to said they don't breathe through the beak, only through the nose.
Maybe I should have continued with just the formula?
Maybe she got chilled after the bath? But I wrapped her in towels and held her for warmth for about twenty minutes. Maybe I should have blow dried her. I don't know. I feel so guilty. But in the street they always get wet, even in the winter.

In any case, if it was destined for this baby pigeon to die, she would die anyway. But at least she was clean, warm, fed, cared for, free of parasites... in her last 24 hours of life. She died in a much calmer way. I don't regret taking her in, not at all. But my heart is broken.
She was just under three weeks old.